1. You can tell if a woman has an STD through ear wax. Apparantly it goes like this. First you stick your finger in your ear (not your partner's because that would just be too weird). Then, you take your finger, with the newly acquired ear wax on it, and stick it up inside her vagina. Remove your finger from the vagina (obviously, right?). If it starts to foam (maybe like a baking soda and vinegar effect), she definitely has something going on down there.
My advice is that if your partner starts to foam at all, move away from them quickly. They might be turning into a zombie!
2. Whole milk gives you gonorrhea. A middle aged military man, who was also a husband, so kindly enlightened me on this phenonema. He had just been diagnosed with gonorrhea and we were engaged in our normal follow-up chat. He was a very nice man, and forthcoming about his symptoms, medications, and the questions I had. That was, until I asked him for his wife's name. It was my job to make sure she got treated too. Not expecting that question, he got very quiet. Then, so not to be rude, told me his wife didn't need treatment because she didn't drink whole milk. I thought I must have heard him wrong and asked him to repeat that. Again, he stated that he was the only one in his house that drank whole milk. Now, being an expert at reading between the lines (or sheets), I thought he must be talking code to me. I figured his wife was in the room. So, I casually answered back that it didn't matter what kind of milk she drank. If he drank the "whole milk" and took even a sip of her skim milk, she needed treatment (Wink, Wink). That is where I lost him. He went into this whole discussion about the bacteria in milk, being able to convert to gonorrhea in the body, but that it wasn't an infectious type. To this day I still do not know if he really believed that or just thought if it sounded good enough, I would fall for it. Ultimately, I wound up letting his wife know she had been exposed to gonorrhea. Of course I did it anonymously. She wasn't surprised. She didn't have any symptoms but did test positive. She got her medication without so much as a second thought. The only thing I could think of it that she must have been secretly drinking "whole milk" too.
3. You can get chlamydia from tampons. Apparently over and over and over again. This was actually a severe case of "my man knows everything" syndrome. No offense guys, because ladies do it too. It just happened to be a young teenager girl about 16 who honestly believed that she was allergic to tampons and that kept resulting in repeat chlamydia infections. When conducting my interview with her, I noticed that she had been testing positive about every six weeks. She swore she only had one partner. Then, she added, quite reassuringly that her boyfriend's doctor told him that the reason she kept getting chlamydia was because she was allergic to the material in the tampons. They had been together about a year. She had been using tampons since she was fourteen and never had a problem until about nine months prior. She knew she didn't have chlamydia going into the relationship becuase she was tested when she went in for her depo shot before they started having sex. When she first found out, they both got treated and it wasn't a big deal. The second time she got upset because they had taken their meds at the same time and waited seven days before having sex. But, then her boyfriend had an "eye opening" talk with his doctor. Must have been Dr. Desperate 4 Excuses, because he sure had a lot of them. So, each month after her period ended, she and her partner would take their monthly dose of azithromycin and keep on going. Cake walk, right? Well, after a few hours and a several calls later, she finally saw the writing on the wall (or read the Kotex box) and figured out I wasn't lying to her. Another relationship bites the dust, but at least she can keep using tampons without the added dose of meds each month.
These are just a few of the things I have heard over the years. It's fun to share, but here is what I really want you to take from this.
1. The only way to get a sexually transmitted disease is by having oral, vaginal, or anal sex with someone who has the infection. You don't get it from whole milk or tampons.
2. The only way to know if you have an infection is to get tested for it. Ear wax is just really kinda gross.
3. Not everyone tells the truth. Don't take any chances. Testing is really easy and well worth the time. Taking care of your health is most important.
4. If you ever get an STI, your partners must be tested and treated also. You will keep getting the infection back again if they are not. And, if you have all been treated appropriately and waited to have sex, and then test positive again. Don't try to figure out how it happened. You have been re-infected and cheated on.
Ok, off my rant. Until next time....
3. You can get chlamydia from tampons. Apparently over and over and over again. This was actually a severe case of "my man knows everything" syndrome. No offense guys, because ladies do it too. It just happened to be a young teenager girl about 16 who honestly believed that she was allergic to tampons and that kept resulting in repeat chlamydia infections. When conducting my interview with her, I noticed that she had been testing positive about every six weeks. She swore she only had one partner. Then, she added, quite reassuringly that her boyfriend's doctor told him that the reason she kept getting chlamydia was because she was allergic to the material in the tampons. They had been together about a year. She had been using tampons since she was fourteen and never had a problem until about nine months prior. She knew she didn't have chlamydia going into the relationship becuase she was tested when she went in for her depo shot before they started having sex. When she first found out, they both got treated and it wasn't a big deal. The second time she got upset because they had taken their meds at the same time and waited seven days before having sex. But, then her boyfriend had an "eye opening" talk with his doctor. Must have been Dr. Desperate 4 Excuses, because he sure had a lot of them. So, each month after her period ended, she and her partner would take their monthly dose of azithromycin and keep on going. Cake walk, right? Well, after a few hours and a several calls later, she finally saw the writing on the wall (or read the Kotex box) and figured out I wasn't lying to her. Another relationship bites the dust, but at least she can keep using tampons without the added dose of meds each month.
These are just a few of the things I have heard over the years. It's fun to share, but here is what I really want you to take from this.
1. The only way to get a sexually transmitted disease is by having oral, vaginal, or anal sex with someone who has the infection. You don't get it from whole milk or tampons.
2. The only way to know if you have an infection is to get tested for it. Ear wax is just really kinda gross.
3. Not everyone tells the truth. Don't take any chances. Testing is really easy and well worth the time. Taking care of your health is most important.
4. If you ever get an STI, your partners must be tested and treated also. You will keep getting the infection back again if they are not. And, if you have all been treated appropriately and waited to have sex, and then test positive again. Don't try to figure out how it happened. You have been re-infected and cheated on.
Ok, off my rant. Until next time....
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